Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Drunk is not a location!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
