i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
