I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
