Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
