I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize