There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize