apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
