Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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