Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
