The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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