Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am one with the molecules
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
