I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
