when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Panties = found
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
