out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
