So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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