My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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