You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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