Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I checked into jail on foursquare
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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