I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
