Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize