It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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