I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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