Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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