Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
