how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
