no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
