What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
