how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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