i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
