wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
