i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
