You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
pray to the hookup gods
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
