All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
