just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
