the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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