One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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