Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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