oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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