It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
