The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize