My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
