And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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