My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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