it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
