Small penises have feelings too.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
