It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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