i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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