Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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