I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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