My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
