He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
