Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
