3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we made out on top of his cat.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
