i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
