My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize