The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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