I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
