just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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