Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
