I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
