you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm always down for nudity.
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