he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
