I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
