my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
