A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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