He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
