omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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